Matty's New Toy

Apparently this is an Apple iPod Touch. According to Matty, this is an absolute necessity for protracted holidays. It does many amazing things. After swearing at the thing for a few minutes, Matty found that we can email, Skype and explore the web on it. Therefore, we hope to get our moneys-worth before it gets seized from us at knife-point on day two of our travels. Should it, by the grace of god, stay with us for the next few months, be assured that we'll use the machine to keep in touch with all our friends in the future. Anyone who isn't on Skype yet (Chloe Tidman, among others) sign up now. The hostage takers might find it useful in procuring a ransom...or they might be distracted by the magic games on it long enough for us to make our escape. Everyone wins.

This is an over-exposed Matty with our friends Tara and Henry. They are terrific people, and are getting married soon. Tara appears highly suspicious of my motives in this instance, but I still hope to be invited to the wedding. We would like to thank them both for coming along to our little soiree. Aren't they lovely?

Leaving Party, The Bunch of Grapes, Feb 2010

Because Matty and I are booze hounds, we like to take advantage of any reason whatsoever for an all-day beer-fest. What better reason for orchestrating a pub outing than our final weekend in London for nigh on 4 months? The answer is, there's no better reason.

This is a photograph of me and my twin sister, Chloe.

She is taller and prettier than me, but I still love her quite a lot.

I'm going to miss her a great deal. Our acquaintances are upset that Clo and I will be apart from each other for so long as they won't be able to 'stare and compare' for a while.

I am upset that Clo and I will be separate for such a long time because she is one of my favourite people to go and eat pizza with. We usually plump for the Il Padrino at Pizza Express, or the Cappricciosa at Chicco's. There is also the occasional Fiorentina.

I have a large glass of Montepulciano and Clo Clo has a Diet Coke. We're not identical.

Tickets Booked! Fabulous...

For anyone who gives a flying one, Mattkinson and I have booked our tickets for the soon to be ill-fated expedition into the land of painful nether-region waxing. We're flying into Rio on 25 Feb 10, and out of Lima on 16 June 10. The interim we leave in the lap of the gods. You'll be pleased to know we've had a variety of intrusive and occasionally bloody jabs in the run up to the event, so here's hoping we don't get yellow fever or that old favourite, malaria...

This is us after the prestigious Emap leaving do of Jan 2010. Matty says this will be the picture published of us on BBC News after we've been maimed beyond recognition after a calamity in Rio. If it is, and all goes awry, remember us kindly and think - well, they weren't complete c@nts...